There are 7 steps and I haven't done them all, but I was excited to apply what I could immediately. So as I went to sleep I gave attention to being a calm and compassionate communicator. It doesn't take long in a household of 7 to have an opportunity to practice my communication. As we headed out to a play date, I gave myself some appreciation for holding it together pretty well. Then the play date had a few challenges and we ran later than I realized so lunch was late. But still I felt like I did okay.
Then she does it. My daughter who sometimes feels stressed by sensory stuff (picky eater, picky dresser, things have to be just "so") started to come undone. It started with a change in our seating arrangement for the ride back from the park, then the seat was dirty, then I had the nerve to insist she buckle her seat belt. By the time we pulled out of our friends' driveway, she was screaming, kicking the seat, and wrestling with the seat belt like a wild monkey.
Now I'm driving on the highway with total craziness in my van. I told her, "I'm going to pull over. You are going to get out of the van and take a breath. When you can calmly sit in the car, we will go home."
I pulled into a parking lot. I got out and helped her out. She was wrestling like the wild monkey still. And we did it. I stayed calm. I reassured her. I held my boundary with love. She got back in, buckled up and we left.
Whew! This may sound like no big deal, but for me, lately, this is an accomplishment. I am so grateful for the change, for the commitment. No surprise here that the true test comes with this child. I feel like I have a "sacred" contract with this girl. I said this on Facebook on her birthday, "She brought out a calm strength I didn't know I had. She still calls that strength out in me..."
Thank you, sweet girl, for pushing me to keep my commitment.
oh, what's that? the twins got into the paints again? grrreaat! Ok, gotta go!
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